Thursday, February 26, 2009
The post we never wanted to write.
We found out today at our ultrasound appointment that Mary Grace had passed away, likely yesterday (Ash Wednesday) or this morning. I will be induced (starting late) this evening (Thursday) to deliver her, and we are in the process of figuring out funeral arrangements. Please keep us in your prayers and we'll post as we know more about the funeral time, etc.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Prayers and Fasting
Hey everyone, this is Rob putting in a note at Angela's request. Tomorrow 2/24 and Wednesday 2/25 along with some friends, we are going to be fasting and praying for the complete healing of Mary Grace, prior to our visit to the doctor on Thursday morning. We are only fasting from 8am to 12pm, and this can be a complete fast, only water and bread, depriving yourself something in the morning that you normally have (like coffee), or whatever you feel comfortable with.
Thank you to everyone for your continued support and prayers, and Angela should probably resume posting on Wednesday.
-Rob
Thank you to everyone for your continued support and prayers, and Angela should probably resume posting on Wednesday.
-Rob
Friday, February 20, 2009
Choosing life is choosing to love God.
Isabel and I are in Hendersonville right now as I am dropping her off to stay with Grammy and Grandpa G. for the weekend. Robert and I volunteer with Catholic Engaged Encounter which provides a weekend retreat for engaged couples, and that is this weekend. After the weekend I will pick Isabel back up and we will stay with some dear friends for a few days before heading back to Raleigh. Bottom line: this means I will likely not post for a few days and I don't want to worry anyone! We will be busy and I am glad for that since our next ultrasound seems like it's far off; it will be a good way to pass the time.
I want to thank everyone again for your supportive comments- I read each and every comment and often re-read them to get encouragement! I did however experience (second hand) my first negative piece of advice and opinion yesterday. It was relayed to me that one lady felt that maybe I should start listening to God and not try to have any more children, (as if God were saying "this is your third problem pregnancy, you should just quit"). As if that wasn't enough, she went on to say that I don't want to burden myself with raising a disabled child. Absolutely unbelievable. I don't think someone could say anything worse to a person in our situation. Now in all fairness, my mom says this lady is a good person who is misguided. It left me feeling sad for her...I wasn't initially angry about her advice (which surprised me!), I just felt hurt that that was her opinion; that she would think this baby means so little to Robert and I that we would abort her just so that we wouldn't be "burdened" by a disabled child. I will be blessed if my child even makes it to birth. How selfish to think that I wouldn't be blessed to raise her if she could survive longer. The whole conversation really ate at my heart over the night.
This morning we went to Mass at my mom's church and this was the Gospel reading: Mark 8:34-9:1
Jesus summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them,
"Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,
take up his cross, and follow me.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake
and that of the Gospel will save it.
What profit is there for one to gain the whole world
and forfeit his life?
What could one give in exchange for his life?
Whoever is ashamed of me and of my words
in this faithless and sinful generation,
the Son of Man will be ashamed of
when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."
He also said to them,
"Amen, I say to you,
there are some standing here who will not taste death
until they see that the Kingdom of God has come in power.
The homily, likewise reminded us that we are all children of God and when we love one another we are loving God. I mean, was that scripture passage and the homily just meant for me to hear today or what?! If I by a miracle of God, DO get to bring Mary Grace home and she is disabled then I will love her and that will be me loving God! And if she is disabled and I have to give up parts of my life to take care of her, then I am giving up my life for CHRIST, because she is HIS CHILD!
This was just a powerful reminder that we are on the right path by choosing LIFE; choosing to carry Mary Grace until God sees fit to take her, and loving her with or without triploidy and all the problems it causes.
Thank you friends for your continued prayers!
I want to thank everyone again for your supportive comments- I read each and every comment and often re-read them to get encouragement! I did however experience (second hand) my first negative piece of advice and opinion yesterday. It was relayed to me that one lady felt that maybe I should start listening to God and not try to have any more children, (as if God were saying "this is your third problem pregnancy, you should just quit"). As if that wasn't enough, she went on to say that I don't want to burden myself with raising a disabled child. Absolutely unbelievable. I don't think someone could say anything worse to a person in our situation. Now in all fairness, my mom says this lady is a good person who is misguided. It left me feeling sad for her...I wasn't initially angry about her advice (which surprised me!), I just felt hurt that that was her opinion; that she would think this baby means so little to Robert and I that we would abort her just so that we wouldn't be "burdened" by a disabled child. I will be blessed if my child even makes it to birth. How selfish to think that I wouldn't be blessed to raise her if she could survive longer. The whole conversation really ate at my heart over the night.
This morning we went to Mass at my mom's church and this was the Gospel reading: Mark 8:34-9:1
Jesus summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them,
"Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,
take up his cross, and follow me.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake
and that of the Gospel will save it.
What profit is there for one to gain the whole world
and forfeit his life?
What could one give in exchange for his life?
Whoever is ashamed of me and of my words
in this faithless and sinful generation,
the Son of Man will be ashamed of
when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels."
He also said to them,
"Amen, I say to you,
there are some standing here who will not taste death
until they see that the Kingdom of God has come in power.
The homily, likewise reminded us that we are all children of God and when we love one another we are loving God. I mean, was that scripture passage and the homily just meant for me to hear today or what?! If I by a miracle of God, DO get to bring Mary Grace home and she is disabled then I will love her and that will be me loving God! And if she is disabled and I have to give up parts of my life to take care of her, then I am giving up my life for CHRIST, because she is HIS CHILD!
This was just a powerful reminder that we are on the right path by choosing LIFE; choosing to carry Mary Grace until God sees fit to take her, and loving her with or without triploidy and all the problems it causes.
Thank you friends for your continued prayers!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Full Amnio Results.
I called today to check if the full amniocentesis results had come in and sure enough, they had. Mary Grace does have full triploidy, 69,XXX. Which means that she has 69 chromosomes in every cell in her body. Two "X's" meaning "girl" and the extra "X" means she has an extra set of chromosomes.
This is a very informative website that can help you to understand triploidy: http://www.healthline.com/galecontent/triploidy
There really wasn't much more to report. My next appointment is with the UNC Specialty Clinic next Thursday, February 26th. We will do another ultrasound then to check her growth and to see what all her problem spots look like. Hopefully her heart will be in good shape...please pray for a perfectly formed and working heart between now and next Thursday. Rob and I are taking the news really well; since we had already gotten the preliminary results last Wednesday, it wasn't a shock to us that the full test results would be confirmation of triploidy.
"The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 41:29-31
This is a very informative website that can help you to understand triploidy: http://www.healthline.com/galecontent/triploidy
There really wasn't much more to report. My next appointment is with the UNC Specialty Clinic next Thursday, February 26th. We will do another ultrasound then to check her growth and to see what all her problem spots look like. Hopefully her heart will be in good shape...please pray for a perfectly formed and working heart between now and next Thursday. Rob and I are taking the news really well; since we had already gotten the preliminary results last Wednesday, it wasn't a shock to us that the full test results would be confirmation of triploidy.
"The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 41:29-31
19 Weeks 4 Days, Regular OB Appointment
Well Praise to God that she still has a heartbeat! I did not doubt that her little heart would be beating at our regular OBGYN appointment this morning, but it is still such a praiseworthy sound! Another praise is that I gained a pound since my last visit 2 weeks ago!! (Now hopefully some of that can be attributed to Mary Grace having grown an extradorinary amount in a very short time- catch up my little one!)
Yesterday Robert and I had compiled a list of questions. One list was medical questions for our doctors and the other list is for our priest; they are more religious/spiritual/moral in nature. I felt a little troubled when I was compiling these questions, and this is why: If I make preparations for Mary Grace's death, then does that mean that I don't have faith that God will heal her?? And if I don't have enough faith like the people in the bible stories then maybe He won't. I have really been battling with this over the last couple of days. Do I dare make a list of "what happens if she dies?" questions??? God knows our thoughts, so even thinking about the whole matter might mean my faith is weak!
In the end, we felt that God wants us to be prepared...he put us through the other losses so that we would have preparation for the future. Especially, like I've talked about before with the ectopic pregnancy; being prepared for moral issues that we could face. If she's born with this fatal condition, do we just provide her with comfort care or are we morally obligated to keep her alive on a ventilator or with other extreme measures? These are the questions (which will obviously be directed to our pastor) that we need answers for and I believe that God wants us to be prepared while remaining hopeful and trusting in Him.
So our questions for Dr. S were:
1. Are there any extra risks to me if this pregnancy continues to term? We had read about a potential increased risk for pre-eclampsia (pregnancy induced hypertension) and also potentially cancer. He did not think there were any extreme risks for these conditions...just as much as any other pregnancy for the pre-eclampsia and very little risk of cancer. **I also need to add here that we would continue with this pregnancy regardless of the risks to me.
2. If we continue at the specialty clinic would they continue to do ultrasounds on Mary Grace and how often? Yes, he wants me to continue to go there every 4-6 weeks (which means I will get to see her often!).
3. How often would I continue to see Dr. S to check for hearttones? My visits with him will continue just as if it were a normal pregnancy (right now that means every 4 weeks) with all the regular tests (like the glucose tolerance test for gestational diabetes, etc.)
4. If she is stillborn will she get a birth or death certificate? Yes, after 20 weeks (which is in 3 days).
5. If we make it to delivery do we do a c-section or vaginal birth? That depends on alot of things...of course my doc did not want to really "go there" until we see how long she makes it (which I wanted to tell him would be the whole way!)..but he made it sound like since she would likely be smaller we could try a vaginal delivery and they would monitor her and c-section would be the backup plan. This is a question I will likely ask my specialist doctor at next week's appointment...because it seems to me that all the stories I have read where the baby goes to term end up with a c-section. There is still alot of uncertainty about where I would deliver according to Dr. S. While the specialty clinic had basically said, "you would deliver at Rex because there is nothing we can do for the baby anyway", Dr. S seemed to be of the opinion that it was possible that the delivery would be at a more specialized location like UNC Hospital. So I feel good with the majority of our care being in Dr. S's hands...I really hope God can just amaze all these doctors with a miracle!
Still no word on the full amnio results. I was really expecting them yesterday and now I'm really expecting them today. Tomorrow will be the full 14 days of waiting and you can bet that I will be calling them if they have not called me.
Yesterday Robert and I had compiled a list of questions. One list was medical questions for our doctors and the other list is for our priest; they are more religious/spiritual/moral in nature. I felt a little troubled when I was compiling these questions, and this is why: If I make preparations for Mary Grace's death, then does that mean that I don't have faith that God will heal her?? And if I don't have enough faith like the people in the bible stories then maybe He won't. I have really been battling with this over the last couple of days. Do I dare make a list of "what happens if she dies?" questions??? God knows our thoughts, so even thinking about the whole matter might mean my faith is weak!
In the end, we felt that God wants us to be prepared...he put us through the other losses so that we would have preparation for the future. Especially, like I've talked about before with the ectopic pregnancy; being prepared for moral issues that we could face. If she's born with this fatal condition, do we just provide her with comfort care or are we morally obligated to keep her alive on a ventilator or with other extreme measures? These are the questions (which will obviously be directed to our pastor) that we need answers for and I believe that God wants us to be prepared while remaining hopeful and trusting in Him.
So our questions for Dr. S were:
1. Are there any extra risks to me if this pregnancy continues to term? We had read about a potential increased risk for pre-eclampsia (pregnancy induced hypertension) and also potentially cancer. He did not think there were any extreme risks for these conditions...just as much as any other pregnancy for the pre-eclampsia and very little risk of cancer. **I also need to add here that we would continue with this pregnancy regardless of the risks to me.
2. If we continue at the specialty clinic would they continue to do ultrasounds on Mary Grace and how often? Yes, he wants me to continue to go there every 4-6 weeks (which means I will get to see her often!).
3. How often would I continue to see Dr. S to check for hearttones? My visits with him will continue just as if it were a normal pregnancy (right now that means every 4 weeks) with all the regular tests (like the glucose tolerance test for gestational diabetes, etc.)
4. If she is stillborn will she get a birth or death certificate? Yes, after 20 weeks (which is in 3 days).
5. If we make it to delivery do we do a c-section or vaginal birth? That depends on alot of things...of course my doc did not want to really "go there" until we see how long she makes it (which I wanted to tell him would be the whole way!)..but he made it sound like since she would likely be smaller we could try a vaginal delivery and they would monitor her and c-section would be the backup plan. This is a question I will likely ask my specialist doctor at next week's appointment...because it seems to me that all the stories I have read where the baby goes to term end up with a c-section. There is still alot of uncertainty about where I would deliver according to Dr. S. While the specialty clinic had basically said, "you would deliver at Rex because there is nothing we can do for the baby anyway", Dr. S seemed to be of the opinion that it was possible that the delivery would be at a more specialized location like UNC Hospital. So I feel good with the majority of our care being in Dr. S's hands...I really hope God can just amaze all these doctors with a miracle!
Still no word on the full amnio results. I was really expecting them yesterday and now I'm really expecting them today. Tomorrow will be the full 14 days of waiting and you can bet that I will be calling them if they have not called me.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Expecting miracles.
This weekend was a flurry of activity, so I apologize for not posting anything over the last several days. My parents came into town on Friday afternoon. A quick trip to Walmart had me in tears because while we were in line Isabel saw a baby and immediately started telling Grammy that "when Mary Grace plays with Roscoe (Grammy's cat) she would laugh and laugh". I lost it right there in the checkout line, pulling out kleenex and wiping my eyes- people must have thought I was looney.
That evening my parents watched Isabel while Rob and I went to an intimate gathering of prayer warriors who wanted to pray for Mary Grace and our family! These are friends of Rob's mom (whom we had never met!) and we felt so blessed and humbled to be prayed over by them. I cannot express again what it means to us to have this prayer support from people all over- friends, family, friends of friends, people we don't even know! Every little prayer lifted up for Mary Grace is so important, so please whenever you think of us just offer up the quickest little prayer! We thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
On Saturday, my Mom and I attended a Catholic conference called "Ignited by Truth" with some amazing speakers. I asked God to reveal something powerful to me about what we're going through and He did not let me down. The most striking speaker to me was Imaculee Ilibagiza (www.immaculee.com) who survived the 1994 Rwandan genocide of 1 million people in just 100 days. Her entire family was killed, most everyone she knew and loved had died and yet she told her horrific story with this joyous faith in God who truly performed miracles to keep her alive. I thought to myself, "if she can make it through such a horror story and come through it with an even closer relationship with God, praising Him in all things and forgiving her enemies, then surely Rob and I can make it through this difficult time with renewed hope."
I had this thought in my head that I should ask her to pray for Mary Grace. But I also had all these doubts...there are over 2000 people at this conference, even though she will be signing books how could I even wait in a line that long? But God opened a door for me because after we ate and browsed the vendors we bought one of her books and she was there signing books with only 2 people in line and she was about to take her lunch break! So I jumped in line and shakily approached her. I think I was shaking because: A. I'm shy. and B. It's been alot harder to actually tell people about Mary Grace being sick than it has been when I've rehearsed telling people in my mind. I told her that I was very touched by her story and that I felt led to ask if she would pray for me. I told her about Mary Grace and Imaculee's face was compassion, sorrow and kindess all at once. She touched my belly twice and asked how far along I was and if the doctors were sure she would not live. She said that miracles do happen...ask Our Lady to pray for Mary Grace and pray the Seven Sorrows Rosary for her.
Then another speaker kept saying that miracles were happening today like we haven't seen in 2000 years. And wouldn't you know that Sunday's readings were about Jesus healing the leper?? Healings! Miracles! I mean is this stuff just coincidental?? Or is God trying to send me a message to have great faith, and expect miracles! Check out these verses from Matthew 15:
21 Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon.
22 A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession."
23 Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, "Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us."
24 He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel."
25 The woman came and knelt before him. "Lord, help me!" she said.
26 He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs."
27 "Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."
28 Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.(NIV)
A small miracle is that my belly is finally at 19 weeks starting to pop out (since I've been paranoid that it was actually shrinking after The Ultrasound.) Also another small miracle is that I've felt Mary Grace become alot more active again; more movement and stronger kicks. Maybe it's the new optimism I am feeling, this renewed hope that I have that is rubbing off onto her. Maybe all the positive vibes are actually doing her good!
So that has been our weekend. It's now Monday evening and we did not hear today from genetic counselor. I'm kind of expecting her to call tomorrow with the full amnio results. I'll update again as soon as we get those.
That evening my parents watched Isabel while Rob and I went to an intimate gathering of prayer warriors who wanted to pray for Mary Grace and our family! These are friends of Rob's mom (whom we had never met!) and we felt so blessed and humbled to be prayed over by them. I cannot express again what it means to us to have this prayer support from people all over- friends, family, friends of friends, people we don't even know! Every little prayer lifted up for Mary Grace is so important, so please whenever you think of us just offer up the quickest little prayer! We thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
On Saturday, my Mom and I attended a Catholic conference called "Ignited by Truth" with some amazing speakers. I asked God to reveal something powerful to me about what we're going through and He did not let me down. The most striking speaker to me was Imaculee Ilibagiza (www.immaculee.com) who survived the 1994 Rwandan genocide of 1 million people in just 100 days. Her entire family was killed, most everyone she knew and loved had died and yet she told her horrific story with this joyous faith in God who truly performed miracles to keep her alive. I thought to myself, "if she can make it through such a horror story and come through it with an even closer relationship with God, praising Him in all things and forgiving her enemies, then surely Rob and I can make it through this difficult time with renewed hope."
I had this thought in my head that I should ask her to pray for Mary Grace. But I also had all these doubts...there are over 2000 people at this conference, even though she will be signing books how could I even wait in a line that long? But God opened a door for me because after we ate and browsed the vendors we bought one of her books and she was there signing books with only 2 people in line and she was about to take her lunch break! So I jumped in line and shakily approached her. I think I was shaking because: A. I'm shy. and B. It's been alot harder to actually tell people about Mary Grace being sick than it has been when I've rehearsed telling people in my mind. I told her that I was very touched by her story and that I felt led to ask if she would pray for me. I told her about Mary Grace and Imaculee's face was compassion, sorrow and kindess all at once. She touched my belly twice and asked how far along I was and if the doctors were sure she would not live. She said that miracles do happen...ask Our Lady to pray for Mary Grace and pray the Seven Sorrows Rosary for her.
Then another speaker kept saying that miracles were happening today like we haven't seen in 2000 years. And wouldn't you know that Sunday's readings were about Jesus healing the leper?? Healings! Miracles! I mean is this stuff just coincidental?? Or is God trying to send me a message to have great faith, and expect miracles! Check out these verses from Matthew 15:
21 Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon.
22 A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession."
23 Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, "Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us."
24 He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel."
25 The woman came and knelt before him. "Lord, help me!" she said.
26 He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs."
27 "Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."
28 Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.(NIV)
A small miracle is that my belly is finally at 19 weeks starting to pop out (since I've been paranoid that it was actually shrinking after The Ultrasound.) Also another small miracle is that I've felt Mary Grace become alot more active again; more movement and stronger kicks. Maybe it's the new optimism I am feeling, this renewed hope that I have that is rubbing off onto her. Maybe all the positive vibes are actually doing her good!
So that has been our weekend. It's now Monday evening and we did not hear today from genetic counselor. I'm kind of expecting her to call tomorrow with the full amnio results. I'll update again as soon as we get those.
Friday, February 13, 2009
I'm still here.
Wednesday was the feast day of Our Lady of Lourdes. I had a hard time talking to people on Wednesday. Finding out that the test results were showing Triploidy just made the whole thing real, and it was hard to receive news that was even worse than what we were expecting. It's taking time for it to sink in. I felt depressed by the news and was unsure if I would attend bible study that night, just because I couldn't imagine facing anyone. But I knew it was the feast day of Our Lady of Lourdes and I had asked Mary again to intercede for us on her feast day, that God might save Mary Grace. I thought about emailing my bible study group to see if anyone had any blessed water from Lourdes. But since I was so unsure if I was going to go, I decided not to ask. I just thought, "If it is meant to be that we are to bless Mary Grace with holy water then someone will show up at bible study with it!" And so I went that night to bible study and waited. As soon as she arrived, Marilyn said, "I almost brought my holy water from Lourdes- it's in my classroom. (there at the church's school!) Do you want me to go get it?" "YES!" I said, "Go get it!!" I was so humbled that she would offer and so thrilled that God answered my plea! So they blessed me with holy water from Lourdes on the feast day of Our Lady of Lourdes and lit the most fragant smelling blessed candle for my little Mary Grace. I felt so blessed that I had gone and so blessed to be around such God-filled women!
I got some messages about not having posted yesterday from some concerned friends and I am okay. When I woke up yesterday, I must have slept in an awkward position, because I woke up and could not turn or bend my neck- it hurt terribly! I had to make all my movements by bending or turning at the waist, which looked ridiculous. I went to the chiropractor that morning who told me it was likely caused by stress... hmmm, I think so! He told me I had sprained a ligament in my neck and worked on it; today I'm feeling much much better and have more movement again. In any case that is the main reason there was no post...just that I was in some serious pain!
Wednesday and Thursday it was hard to feel joy. But today I feel like it is starting to come back, which is what I want. I want to continue to be joyful that I am pregnant. There will be a time for grieving, but for now I want to enjoy carrying around this precious little life inside me. I want to be hopeful and continue with our life. We have lots of hard decisions to make and I don't want it to sound like I am trying to escape reality. Trust me, I know what the reality is. But while I can celebrate her alive in me, I will! There are so many things about this situation that I can not choose. But I can choose to celebrate Mary Grace while she is alive in me. And I can choose to pray for her healing and to trust in God (whatever the outcome).
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for that is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
I got some messages about not having posted yesterday from some concerned friends and I am okay. When I woke up yesterday, I must have slept in an awkward position, because I woke up and could not turn or bend my neck- it hurt terribly! I had to make all my movements by bending or turning at the waist, which looked ridiculous. I went to the chiropractor that morning who told me it was likely caused by stress... hmmm, I think so! He told me I had sprained a ligament in my neck and worked on it; today I'm feeling much much better and have more movement again. In any case that is the main reason there was no post...just that I was in some serious pain!
Wednesday and Thursday it was hard to feel joy. But today I feel like it is starting to come back, which is what I want. I want to continue to be joyful that I am pregnant. There will be a time for grieving, but for now I want to enjoy carrying around this precious little life inside me. I want to be hopeful and continue with our life. We have lots of hard decisions to make and I don't want it to sound like I am trying to escape reality. Trust me, I know what the reality is. But while I can celebrate her alive in me, I will! There are so many things about this situation that I can not choose. But I can choose to celebrate Mary Grace while she is alive in me. And I can choose to pray for her healing and to trust in God (whatever the outcome).
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for that is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
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