Monday, November 28, 2011

Welcome Back AF!

What a title!  But my cycle did indeed return....on Thanksgiving Day. 

I told you I ovulated, afterall.  And right before the return of my cycle came the return of the insanity I like to call "me obsessing over whether or not I might be pregnant right before AF returns". 

I WAS that person in the Dollar Tree, the day before Thanksgiving, buying a pregnancy test....

And on top of that, I was dragging Isabel up and down every aisle.  (They moved the tests, you see). 

Meanwhile she is asking what it is that I'm shopping for. 

"I can't tell you."  I reply.

"Oh boy!"  she says....then breaks into a litany of ideas;  "Is it a toy?  Is it a coloring book?  Is it a princess wand?  I really want a princess wand on my Christmas list...."  Uh-oh, now she thinks it's a surprise for her.  Geez...this is not going like I had planned. 

Just walk into the store, discreetly buy a test and get out.

Nope.  Go up to the check-out and ask the lady at the register if they have any tests. 

"Yes."  She says and stares blankly at me.

"O-K....Can you tell me where you keep them?"  I'm trying to prompt her...

"Right here under the counter."  She doesn't make a move.  Still staring blankly at me.

"Okay, I'll take two."  (You always need a back-up!)  She kind of half-smiles at me, but I don't bother to explain to her the necessity of two tests. 

Check out.  "Happy Thanksgiving!"  Leave store.  Get home.  Take test.  It's definitely negative. 

Hmmm....what if it's wrong?

AF shows up the next morning!  


I would have been thankful either way :) 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

What's a good number?

Lately, I keep getting asked how many children Rob and I want to have.  It's interesting because this article on the Duggars recently flew all over facebook and blogs, and I thought it was terrific.

So maybe people are asking because the Duggars are having another child.  In any case, my response is usually the same as Rob's, "We will have as many as God chooses to give us."

But this answer seldom satisfies the person who asked the question.

"Well, what's a good number?"

For me?  In my head it's usually the same answer!  "However many we are blessed with!"  But what I have been saying lately is "five". 

I think five is a great number.  But let me quantify and clarify!

When I was 10, I thought "three" was a good number of kids.  Because I am one of three children in my family.

When I was, oh, about 16, my opinion changed and I thought "four" was a good number.  At that point I thought I was being really generous...I mean FOUR KIDS???  That's a whole lot!  (Or so I thought.)  And my reasoning at the time was that with three children, someone was always a "third wheel", so four would even things out.

My point is, perspective changes over time, and with experience.  Losing babies has made me desire more babies!  Having Isabel made me wish I had started having children sooner.  There is no way to explain the joy that comes with having a  child, and after Isabel, I couldn't wait to see what new creation God might have in store for Rob and I in the addition of another child to our family.  And from my perspective of having lost several pregnancies, I think five might be an ambitious number, just because of my history. 

So I say "five"....but I would be thrilled with six, or seven or get the picture!   It's not my desire to attempt to limit God by saying "this is the limit, we're not open to any more".  And sometimes I think when people talk to me they want to know that I have "a limit". 

Having children comes with great responsibility!  Rob and I take this seriously!  You have to be able to provide for them, among other things!  But would my children suffer if they never got to go on extravagant vacations, instead opting for cheaper family camp-outs in the backyard?  I'm not sure why people are eager for my "limit". 

Would 20 children be too many?  Well, considering my history and age there probably isn't much of a chance of that happening!  Ummm....and we'd definitely need a bigger house.  And what about this BIBLE verse? 

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
    the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
   are the children of one’s youth.

  Blessed is the man
   who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
   when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."

Psalm 127:3-5 

That makes you many makes a full quiver??   I think the answer for each family is different and it takes discernment, openness to God's will and some deep prayer with You Know Who!

Just my 2 cents for the day.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Friday Quick Takes

1.  I'm going longer and longer between posts these days....I'm sure you've noticed! ;)  Not sure if it is just the addition of Ian and less time on my hands, or if I've got less to say these days.  Sometimes I wonder if I should keep this blog going if there's not much to say, but then I am reminded that people discover things when God wants them to....and Mary Grace's story still has relevance for those who are struggling with pregnancy loss, even if I am not currently in that same struggle.

2.  I put Ian on the scale yesterday and he was 15 1/2 pounds!  YAY!  I am just thrilled that he is gaining weight on this high-cal stuff!  The fact that he is gaining outweighs the frustration and sadness I have that I am not exclusively breastfeeding. 

3.  Homeschooling is going well this year and through it, and a book that my mom recommended:  The Way They Learn I am learning to approach her in different ways, and recognize that she has a particular way of learning that may in fact be different from the way I learn!!! (How novel!)  It has been really useful.  Isabel really likes to do things right the first time, even though she may not know how!  So when things aren't perfect the first time she is easily frustrated.  And it doesn't help for me to get frustrated about that.  (I should have already known that, right?)  But I've found the different ways to work through it and help her to persevere! 

4.  I'm pretty sure I ovulated.  More on that in another post...

5.  I'm very excited about eating Thanksgiving dinner.  :)

6.  I found a nativity felt board on Etsy that I am just so thrilled about!  It comes with a pregnant Mary and a "delivered" Mary, and you can put baby Jesus in and out of the crib.  These things may seem trivial, but they are going to be so "big" for Isabel!  I can't wait for it to arrive.

7.  Speaking of being "delivered", there is an abundance of new babies around here!  Several friends have had their babies in the last couple of weeks and I'm so happy for them!  Praise God for safe and healthy deliveries, mommas and babies!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

7 Month Weight Check

Yesterday I took Ian for his 7 month weight check.  He has now been on the high calorie breastmilk and high calorie formula for one month, and he gained 11 1/2 oz over the last month!  At 6 months he was 14lbs 7 oz and yesterday he weighed 15lbs 2.5 oz!  So the high cal stuff is working!

What has not been working is what I suspect to be reflux.  Ian does not spit up really, but over the last month he has started waking multiple times at night, sometimes screaming in pain.  With the screaming in pain, I've noticed a wet, gurgling noise in his throat.  For three days he had really terrible breath, which I thought might be related, but at the time he also had a cold, so I thought it could also be drainage.  But what really made me suspect reflux was the way the child takes a bottle.  Sitting straight up with his head tilted looks ridiculous, but he got to the point where he would no longer take a bottle cradled in your arms (like a normal baby!).... the other alternative position was on the floor, but he would still sort of turn on his side and arch his back. 

So yesterday, the doc put him on Zan.tac.  It did not go over well.  The first dose he vomited everything in his tiny little stomach.  The second dose we tried giving in food...did not really work.  The third dose in one ounce of freshly pumped breastmilk.  Nope.  So I added 2 more ounces of milk, nope.  Wouldn't touch it.  Wasted breast milk.  I was pretty upset at this point.  The doctor has prescribed awful tasting medicine (oh....wait, I didn't mention that we took it back to Target and they flavored the already menthol **think worse than peptobis.mol** medicine with grape....yeah, he still hates it.), my baby won't take the medicine, and now thinks any bottle coming his way is of the devil. 


And then my husband shoves my devotional at me, and I read it. 

"Take all sufferings today and offer them to God in thanksgiving for the many blessings you have received."


Waiting on a call back from the triage nurse to either give me some new tips...or a new prescription.