Lately, I keep getting asked how many children Rob and I want to have. It's interesting because this article on the Duggars recently flew all over facebook and blogs, and I thought it was terrific.
So maybe people are asking because the Duggars are having another child. In any case, my response is usually the same as Rob's, "We will have as many as God chooses to give us."
But this answer seldom satisfies the person who asked the question.
"Well, what's a good number?"
For me? In my head it's usually the same answer! "However many we are blessed with!" But what I have been saying lately is "five".
I think five is a great number. But let me quantify and clarify!
When I was 10, I thought "three" was a good number of kids. Because I am one of three children in my family.
When I was, oh, about 16, my opinion changed and I thought "four" was a good number. At that point I thought I was being really generous...I mean FOUR KIDS??? That's a whole lot! (Or so I thought.) And my reasoning at the time was that with three children, someone was always a "third wheel", so four would even things out.
My point is, perspective changes over time, and with experience. Losing babies has made me desire more babies! Having Isabel made me wish I had started having children sooner. There is no way to explain the joy that comes with having a child, and after Isabel, I couldn't wait to see what new creation God might have in store for Rob and I in the addition of another child to our family. And from my perspective of having lost several pregnancies, I think five might be an ambitious number, just because of my history.
So I say "five"....but I would be thrilled with six, or seven or eight...you get the picture! It's not my desire to attempt to limit God by saying "this is the limit, we're not open to any more". And sometimes I think when people talk to me they want to know that I have "a limit".
Having children comes with great responsibility! Rob and I take this seriously! You have to be able to provide for them, among other things! But would my children suffer if they never got to go on extravagant vacations, instead opting for cheaper family camp-outs in the backyard? I'm not sure why people are eager for my "limit".
Would 20 children be too many? Well, considering my history and age there probably isn't much of a chance of that happening! Ummm....and we'd definitely need a bigger house. And what about this BIBLE verse?
"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."
That makes you wonder...how many makes a full quiver?? I think the answer for each family is different and it takes discernment, openness to God's will and some deep prayer with You Know Who!
Just my 2 cents for the day.