13 weeks 3 days and in the hospital

I am 13 weeks and 3 days and now I AM in the hospital. Last night I got lucky and there were no beds available. Today, after the CVS test they admitted me to UNC Women's Hospital where I am surrounded by a number of experts, none of which recall seeing a case that has presented like mine. The CVS test went well. I was extremely nervous that it would be painful like3e my ultrasound with Mary Grace had been, but thanks to God my placenta was perfectly positioned so that he was able to run a catheter right up through my cervix and to the placenta where he suctioned out some cells. Results might be available as early as tomorrow. My symptoms are high blood pressure, hyperthyroidism, tachycardia, extreme nausea especially after eating, cystic thick placenta, losing weight, baby is behind on growth, protein in urine,...I think that is it. The doctors are worried because apparently things can go downhill for the mother quickly with these complications from a partial molar pregnancy. They are worried specifically about: seizures, stroke, pulmonary oedema, bleeding and I think that is it. That's enough right? I still feel jittery, have the hand tremors, a slight headache, and kind of feel a bit of pressure in my head and neck. An anonymous commenter had the wonderful idea to consult the National Catholic Bioethics Center. Thankyou soooo very much for this idea!! My husband called and they were so incredibly helpful in laying out the moral options for this situation. I had no idea you could consult with them- I wish I had known about this service back in 2008 when we had our ovarian ectopic pregnancy.  So basically I think the plan is to wait and see what the CVS diagnostic test tells us.  Then we will know if this is truly a partial molar, and if the baby is chromosomally normal.  Of course Mary Grace had a chromosomal abnormality where we knew she would not live, we still carried her until her natural death in utero at 21 weeks.  The doctors in this case do not believe I would be able to carry this baby far enough for it to survive because my complications would become too severe before then.  The doctors here want to do a D&C.  But truly with a live baby, a D&C would be just like an abortion.  We wont do that even if my symptoms are getting worse.  The National Catholic Bioethics staff advised us that it would be ethical to induce labor to get rid of the placenta if that was in fact the source of the pathology....the trophoblastic placenta is what is causing all the serious health problems.  This would be morally allowed because of the intent to remove the source of the pathology, and the unintended effect would be the loss of our baby.  Because an induction would keep our baby intact and whole, it would preserve the dignity of our child who was made in the image of God.  Other options that are morally acceptable include a c-section which would remove the placenta and baby intact, or a hysterectomy if the doctors were to deem me to have sufficient risk if I kept my uterus.  Obviously if it comes down to one of these options, we would prefer the induction.  I have already mentioned our concerns about a D&C and our preference for induction should things continue to go downhill for me healthwise.  This was well-recieved by a compassionate doctor here but she had to ask the senior doctors if itbwould be "allowed".  Of course we hope that we can keep trucking along and keep me and baby stable....that is the ultimate goal.  Would you continue to pray for the doctors and their understanding of our values? We are so thankful for all of your prayers....it has really encouraged me to read your comments, emails and texts.  Thank you!  We are comforted by your prayers and by our precious Savior who knows the plans I have for you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

A Problem Pregnancy. *Update* Drat....they are admitting me to the hospital.

Today I went to my appointments at the UNC Women's Specialty Clinic for genetic counseling and then my First Trimester Screening.  The screening is a combination blood test and ultrasound to check for Down Syndrome, Trisomy 18, and Trisomy 13. 

I got an ominous feeling when I saw the ultrasound tech who had done the ultrasound when Mary Grace had passed away....luckily, she called another patient, not me.

I got the really super nice ultrasound tech who had helped with my amniocentesis with Mary Grace.  This guy just instantly puts you at ease.  And when he started telling me about the problems he saw with this pregnancy, and I started bawling on the table, he handed me a washcloth to cry into...you know, the ones they have handy to wipe the ultrasound gel off?  He made me feel as comfortable as I could with the new circumstances surrounding my pregnancy and helped me focus on the positives. 

I'll start with those.

First, baby is alive and wiggling all around with a strong heartbeat. 
The nuchal fold measurements came back within a normal range which means that it is unlikely that this baby has Down Syndrome, Trisomy 18, or Trisomy 13.
I had plenty of amniotic fluid.
The baby's heart and brain looked good so far for this stage of pregnancy.
We got some good pictures.

The bad news:

Baby is measuring exactly 1 week behind.  I am 13 weeks and 2 days and baby was measuring 12 weeks and 2 days. 
My placenta does not look good.  It looks like swiss cheese; very cystic.  It is much "thicker" than it should be.
The Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor came in and said that this looks like it could be another Triploidy case, or it could be a molar pregnancy.  Apparently they are leaning more toward a molar pregnancy since I have a lot of the symptoms associated with molar pregnancy, such as:  spotting, severe nausea, developing complications like thyroid disease, high blood pressure, protein in urine.
They did an extra blood test today called a NIPT which is a new test that should tell us if this is Triploidy or a molar pregnancy.  The results will take up to 2 weeks. :(

In the meantime, my blood pressure at the appointment was as high as 155/112 and I had tachychardia at the office.  Of course, it could have been due to all the bad news.

The MFM sent me immediately back over to my regular OB.  My blood pressure was normal at his office (of course they used the regular cuff on me twice, instead of the small cuff recommended by the MFM office).  OB found +2 protein in my urine and was debating putting me into the hospital!  What?  I was not prepared for that.  He consulted with MFM doc and agreed to send me home but read me the riot act and told me to come back in if I began to feel worse.

I have an appointment with regular OB on Friday.  With MFM on Monday.  They want me to do a CVS test on Monday to try and get results sooner.  Ugh....this is Mary Grace all over again. 

God help us.

Would you please pray for us?

***UPDATE***  5:12pm 
Doctor called and told me I am definitely hyperthyroid right now with TSH levels at less than .005, T3 at 6.9 (normal = 2-3.9) and Free T4 at 2.2 (normal = .7-1.4).  So that is indeed why I feel super jittery and my hands are shaking.  More bad news is that my HCG levels came back very high at 382,854 when they should be in the 50,000-100,000 range for this point of my pregnancy.  This is highly indicative of a molar pregnancy, according to the doc.  Between my regular OB and the MFM they decided to admit me to REX hospital.  However, when they called to get me a room, REX is entirely booked....so they debated sending me to UNC (over an hour drive at least), but after I had packed my bags they called back and decided I could stay at home tonight and go straight to the ER if I have any worsening symptoms.  So I am home for the night.

Tomorrow a.m. I will head over to UNC to have the CVS test done (an invasive test that they do instead of an amnio since I am less than 15 weeks).  They are repeatedly telling me to start thinking about having to make some "tough decisions" if my health starts to deteriorate.  We all know what that means.  This is actually turning out to be worse than Mary Grace, because I was "free" to carry her as long as she lived.  With this baby I am already feeling "pressure" to terminate. 

Tried to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet on EWTN today at 3pm...but I could only sit through it and stare at the tv.  But really felt peace when they said the closing prayer:

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion — inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.

Thyroid levels and symptoms? Feeling off...

So since my last OB visit on the 1/23, I've been feeling increasingly jittery and just out of it.  I feel like I've taken a cold medicine that has made me just like jittery inside, sometimes it feels like my pulse is racing, but then when I check my pulse it seems normal....it just feels that way.  And my hands, (especially my right) are shaky.  My eyes are dry and kind of red, and I'm just feeling weird. 

Of course when you look at me, it looks like I'm completely normal.  Which is really frustrating because inside I just feel like messed up.  That along with the fact that I am losing weight and that I am getting more nauseaus as I head into the 2nd trimester, makes me a little more concerned about my thyroid results. 

So here are my numbers:

TSH = 0.091
T3= 3.33
T4= 1.27

According to the nurse my T3 and T4 are considered normal, but my TSH is on the low side. 

Sew.....need help interpreting!  And are these thyroid symptoms? 

My 24 hour urine test came back normal.  But I only got 725ml of urine over 24 hours....seemed kinda low to me, but the nurses said nothing, so I guess it was fine. 

I just need to figure out why I'm feeling like this :(  My spotting on and off is still continuing here at 12 weeks.  I go the Maternal Fetal Medicine people on Thursday for my First Trimester Screening and genetic counseling.  Then head back to my regular OB on 2/10.

11 1/2 week update

At this OB appointment I was down 3lbs, had been feeling more queasy this past week after thinking that I had turned a corner in that department, so  I guess I had been eating less.  And my blood pressure was higher...sort of.  It was 152/86....so just the top number was higher than last week's.  They always take my blood pressure with a "small" cuff, so the doctor was debating whether he wanted to put me on blood pressure medicine and decided to take my blood pressure with a "regular" size cuff.  Well with the regular cuff my BP is in the 130s over 80s....so fairly normal....at least much better.  Based on that reading he decided to wait on the meds.  I think he expects my BP to continue to fall since BP naturally increases in first trimester, then decreases in the second trimester, and then rises again in the third.  He's thinking why put her on meds if it is going to come down soon anyway.

I had two really strange dizzy episodes this past week...but isn't dizziness a sign of low blood pressure?  Who knows....this pregnancy is just very strange and unpredictable so far.

Baby's heart rate was good yesterday, so doc says that he or she is tolerating whatever bounces my BP is having.

I have to do the 24 hour urine collection on Sunday though and take it in on Monday.  Then I have my first trimester screening on Thursday, and then go back the following week for another blood pressure check.   OB said he would be seeing a lot of me this pregnancy.  He also drew blood to check my thyroid levels yesterday.

So, there is that.  And then there is the problem that I have with peeing.  Yep, I'm just going to come out and talk about it.  It's happened in 2 of my other pregnancies- one pregnancy was so bad that I ended up having to self-catheterize....that was miserable.  So I have this tilted uterus that is so tipped back that somehow it pinches off my ability to completely empty my bladder.  It's worse the more full my bladder is....which leaves me no choice but to go and use the bathroom every hour or more.  Well today it is at the point where it almost feels like I could be starting to get a bladder infection... I'm waiting to see what's going on.  It's not comfortable and we are missing co-op today because of me and my inability to pee.  Yep....try to explain that to the kids.  :( 

Along with all of this, I am super irritable.  Again, not so much fun for the kids, but I feel kind of jittery, shaky and irritable.  I have been snapping so much at the kids lately...it's terrible.  I find myself realizing it too late, and then feeling awful and apologizing for my moodiness.  I just can't wait to mellow out.

In the midst of all this yesterday, one of my friends completed her miscarriage and was in a lot of suffering.  She is recovering today, but if you could lift her up in prayer I know that it would be most appreciated.  I am so heartbroken for their family.

And a second prayer request for an internet friend who had surgery yesterday with Dr. Hilgers.  Please pray for her recovery and for good results.


Update:  Results from thyroid test came back as having low TSH, but normal Free T3 and T4.   Have no clue what that means.  He is having me repeat thyroid bloodwork in a month.

Wasn't stressed before, but now.... 10 week update

I kinda am.

It's no secret that I like to put all my pregnancy information on the blog.  This is useful for me, and I think for some people who stumble across my blog it might be useful for them as well.  So here it goes.

Today baby measured 10 weeks 1 day.  According to the doctor's estimate I am 10 weeks 2 days, so baby is right on track.  According to when I think I ovulated I thought I should be 10 weeks 5days.  So we are off by about 4 days.  Not a big deal.  Baby was wriggling all over the place on the ultrasound and looked great; nice little heartbeat ticking away.

I have had dark red to rust colored to brown spotting off and on this entire pregnancy, and on Saturday had a big burst of bleeding (still dark brown; old blood).  There was no cramping, so I really was not concerned; I figured it was a subchorionic hemorrhage which I have had before with the same sort of symptoms.  This was confirmed today at my appointment on ultrasound, we saw the pocket of blood which should continue to kind of work it's way out.

But the concerning thing about my appointment was that my blood pressure was 132/92.  It is normally around 110/70 when I go to my prenatal visits, and that is what it was several weeks ago at my first visit.  So today, they wanted to check it again later.  Well when they did that, the nurse would not tell me the number and said, "I need to go get another nurse to try....third time's the charm!"  and rushed out.  Another nurse came in and re-checked it and she told me it was 142/90.  Great.  High blood pressure at 10 weeks?   What is this?  I was induced for high blood pressure at 39 weeks with Caroline, but I did not think blood pressure would start creeping up this early.  I wasn't unnecessarily stressed out or anything today, and I've had that "jittery" kind of feeling that I had today on and off over the past week or so....just didn't want to think it could really be my blood pressure acting up.  So the first nurse comes back in and says that her reading was "higher than 142/90" but would still not say the number! 

So now of course I'm kind of worried.  I have to go back next week to check my blood pressure again and was supposed to collect a 24 hour urine specimen to return next week, but they forgot to give me the container.  So I'll either pick it up before then or else just get it at my next check. 

The OB said he would not put me on blood pressure meds unless I got into the 150s/100s.  But now I'm kinda worried.  Hopefully meds would control everything, but the OB said there really wasn't anything I could do on my own to help lower my blood pressure since I'm not overweight, I eat a balanced diet, etc.

So just wanted to document it all.....because you just never know what God is going to hand you.  All I can do is take it one day at a time and trust that His plan is bigger than mine.  And try not to stress over it....try being the operative word.

So We're Having Another Baby....

...and I already have very little time to blog!

Let's update:  We are back into school since Advent and Christmas are over, and I still have to get my 180 days in for the school year.   I think we are halfway there, so that is good news!

But while I am helping Isabel with schoolwork, Ian is no longer content to just "play".  He wants to be doing schoolwork (or something close to it) as well.  For instance, today Isabel was counting out  different ways to make various change amounts using real coins.  Ian saw the coins and began matching up the correct number of coins to little number cards that I had.  So 2 coins for #2, etc.  Of course it might have been a quarter and a penny....he wasn't actually counting out 2 cents or anything, but he was able to do 1 to 1 correspondence and he could visually recognize and name all the numbers from 1-10.  He's 2 1/2 going on 4.  So I've realized that I'm going to have to really have his preschool "work" ready (ie., enough to keep him busy and engaged) for next August.....and maybe before then!!! 

Meanwhile, Caroline is crawling toward the wood burning fireplace insert.  Yep....the hot contraption that we use to heat our entire house???.....that one.  When we went to the wood burning insert route for heating, my only requirement was that I wanted to be able to see the fire through a glass door....call me a sucker for the romance of a warm crackling fireplace scene. A lot of wood inserts have big black doors and you are unable to view the fire.  Well, apparently, C is just as enamoured with the sight of the beautiful flames as I am!  It's her new fascination.  Between 8 and 9 months she started crawling, learned how to pull up onto furniture, and now thinks she can let go and stand on her own.  The problem is that she is just not "solid" enough.....my kids are itty bitty, remember?  She just doesn't have enough stability to stand without holding onto something, but boy does she want to!  So she is into EVERYTHING.  Not complaining!  It's simply amazing how fast it happened.  One month she was stationary.  I could set her in the exersaucer and she was content.  Now she just wants to go, go, go!

And I have hit the really yucky feeling, full of queasies-all-day part of pregnancy.  Whew.  There is no time in this house for me to sit around feeling queasy, though!  At this point, I feel great *while I'm eating*.....not a good scenario.  It equates to me constantly eating.  And then, of course feeling nauseaus after I'm done eating.  Hopefully I should be turning the corner in a few more weeks!  Hang in there, right? ;)

There are days when I think to myself, "holy cow, we are having a 4th baby"....and I think this for so many reasons!

1.  Just 5 years ago we were in the midst of losing 4 babies, and now we are having a 4th live one?
2.  Holy cow, I have been pregnant EIGHT times!
3.  Holy cow, where are we going to put another baby??  We only live in a 3 bedroom house!
4.  Holy cow, is it going to be possible to homeschool a 3rd grader, a preschooler, and have a 16 month old and a newborn.....ALL AT THE SAME TIME??? ;)
5.  Holy cow, God is so amazing that He would give me this vocation of motherhood at all....I've got to do a better job with the beautiful little gifts He has entrusted to me!

Ummm.....I could go on and on.  I mean, my mind just doesn't seem to stop these days.  Well, until about 30 minutes after all the kids are in bed and I pass out on the couch.  Then Rob has to wake me up and send me to bed ;)  Sleep is pretty good these nights!  Caroline wakes up throughout the night several times still, but then she puts herself back to bed....all but 2x.  So I feed her around midnight and then around 4am.  Some of you are probably thinking, "is she nuts???  C is 9 months old!  She should be sleeping through the night."  Well, this crazy little baby has not slept through the night yet, and for only nursing 2x a night now, we have come a very, very long way!  I figure she will get it eventually.  And honestly, I think she is getting close to cutting the midnight feeding.  We might have her sleeping all the way through the night in time for #4.

#4  Girl or Boy?  We have decided not to find out again!  It was so much fun not knowing until delivery with Caroline, that we will gladly be surprised again.

And upon hearing that we are quite quickly expecting a fourth baby so soon after Caroline, most people have been ecstatic!  I was literally quite surprised with the joy and excitement I could hear, see, and sense in people about this fourth baby!  It has really been a blessing to have such positive reactions, because there is always that tiny bit of doubt that pops in every now and then in my head..... can we really handle another baby????  And so soon???  I guess God knows, right?

Christmas Card Surprise!

Here is our Christmas card for this year!  We sure surprised a lot of people! :)
Wishing you all a blessed Christmas season and New Year!