Total Consecration

Let me start by saying that I have never done St. Louis Marie de Montfort's Total Consecration to Jesus.

Last Wednesday, while we were in the middle of homeschooling, Isabel turns to look at me with her big blue eyes filled with a child's innocence and says, "I feel just like St. Therese.  I want to become a saint, but....(*dramatic pause*)..... I'm helpless!"  That came out of nowhere, but led into a discussion about how we are all called to be saints, and that all of us are helpless to achieve anything on our own, but with God's grace, we can definitely become saints.

Either that evening or the next, I just happened to turn on EWTN Live, and a man was on who talked for an entire hour about making St. Louis Marie De Montfort's consecration.  He said that we are all called to be saints, but (get this) sometimes we are helpless, but when we consecrate ourselves to Jesus through Mary, we can become saints....or something like that.  I started to pay more attention.  I gave up TV for Lent except for March Madness (we have a Duke vs. UNC rivalry in this household) and also for spiritually edifying shows....ie., if the show is gonna draw me closer to God, or aid me in my spiritual journey, I'm all in.  So, I had started St. Louis Marie's True Devotion several years ago and never made it through the book.  And then at some point I had ordered the consecration steps booklet, but wasn't sure where that was now.  The man on tv was now talking about how you could even do a consecration for somebody else....like a non-believer..  Woah....now that was really something.  I could make a consecration for a non-believer and perhaps those prayers would help benefit the (spiritual) life of another person???  Well, why not?  We pray for all the lost souls/unbelievers at Mass and during our bedtime prayers....this would be another way to pray for someone in a specific way, and yet more than that....to consecrate them to Jesus....sort of, in secret.

This got me really excited.  I like to do secret stuff....If I could pick someone I love and consecrate them to Jesus, and continue to pray for them, surely God will answer my prayer that they would come to know Him!  I'm in!  The guy on tv says that the next consecration begins March 26th.

So the next day, all of that was in the back of my mind, but I had other things to do.  Until Ian pulls True Devotion off my bookshelf and I find it literally staring me down.  I pick it up and thumb through it.   Set it on my bedside table.  Hmmm....I think.

Later that day, Isabel has pulled open my bedside table drawers (which she never does, but I know she did because everything is rearranged) and she has put my thermometer-  my NFP thermometer which is always supposed to be in the same place every morning so I can just slam my alarm and reach over and stick it in my mouth- that thermometer.... in another spot.  But what is lying on top when I pull open my drawer??  None other than Preparation for Total Consecration according to St. Louis Marie de Montfort!  Ahhhhhh!  Now I'm getting really freaked out, because I had no clue this booklet was in there....I hadn't seen it for two years! 

I open it up and I've left an email inside the booklet.  It says this:


Hi! 


Would you please send me a Saint Louis Marie de Montfort Total Consecration package?


My address is:


Thank you so much and God bless you!


Angela Holmes

dated.....Wed, April 28, 2010.

Guess when the consecration date is if I started on March 26th???  April 28th.
Guess who's feast day that is?  St. Louis Marie de Montfort.

So here we are... I think God was leading me here, and I am starting today, on the 26th!  Nearly two years after that email request!  God's timing, not ours, right?

Need a Rainbow to Brighten Your Day?

This was in my backyard Tuesday morning.

Gorgeous!  And I needed it because my day was just one battle after another.  Poor Ian has had insane constipation from his high calorie formula, and we have been dealing with lots of issues with that, like:  screaming baby while trying to pass a BM,
shoveling all kinds of prunes, plums, pears and other make-you-go foods down him,
killer diaper rash from going a tiny squirt at a time- all the time,
finally a 15 inch poop.  Yes, since your wondering, I measured it. 
(Since you're now questioning my sanity, I thought it might be necessary for the pediatrician to know exactly how much poop).  
The cat decided to throw up twice that morning.
Did I mention we are trying to sell our house?  Yeah, cat throw up and selling your house don't go well together. 
Luckily, God has already erased from my memory the other trials of that day, but He left me with one lasting photo of that glorious rainbow!

I certainly needed it to brighten my day.

And if you need a good laugh, search "yosemitebear mountain giant double rainbow" on you.tube.  Another gorgeous rainbow and double rainbow guy makes me laugh every. time.

Three Year Anniversary 2/28/2012

Mary Grace, we remembered you in a special way yesterday.

And at the same time, we move on. 

We keep walking forward; time doesn't stop when someone passes. 
Although it can feel that way for awhile.

But the rest of the world continues on.

Yesterday, we went to the cemetary and for the first time, brought our newest little guy. 
It was a gorgeous day; warm and windy for February.
Isabel ran up and down the big hill that is littered with gravesites; looking for those tiny purplish-blue flowers that she had found just three years ago. 

And Ian crawled up and down the hill, leaving little time for reflections of grief.  Instead my thoughts were occupied with making sure he didn't crawl over graves, or pick flowers out of the vases.  So it was a much different kind of visit than we had had before on her anniversary.  But in the same breath, it was lovely.  It was lovely to be in this place now, having another precious child in our arms, alive and well.  It was a reminder of how God saw us through loss, and blessed us with new life. 

I didn't cry yesterday, which surprised me a little.  But I definitely felt the prayers of friends and relatives who remembered our family yesterday.  Thank you for continuing to bless us with your love!  We love and appreciate you!

Pittman Family: Devastating Fire

Please pray for this homeschooling family here in NC who lost three of their eight children in a house fire on Thursday.  This is so tragic.  Jesus, help them!

http://www.agapeleadership.com/pittmanfamily.cfm

The Best Homily Yet on HHS mandate.

We need more priests like this one to stand up for religious liberty.

**Make sure you mute Audrey Assad's song at the bottom of the page**

I need to get back.

Back to blogging, that is.

Life has gotten so busy with two kids!  It's so busy, and it's such a blessing.  It's hard to believe that in less than two weeks we will pass the three year anniversary of losing Mary Grace.   There were times when I think back to the year following her death and what a rollercoaster of emotion it was.  There were some days when there was so much pain that I thought it would be easier if I were dead.  Not that I could have ever done that, but I remember thinking, "all this pain would just go away", or "it would be so much easier if..." and now, look where we are!  We have added a beautiful, thriving, vibrant baby boy who is coming up on his 1st birthday in just a matter of weeks!

Look what I would have missed out on, if I had given up then.

Look at what God had waiting for me, just around the bend...just beyond where I could see at the time.  He kept leading me, and if I hadn't followed...I would have missed out.  I would have missed all these gifts, graces and blessings that He has allowed in my life since losing Mary Grace.

Today I sent Isabel off to her first Daddy-Daughter Dance.  She has been talking about it for weeks on end.  And she was so delighted that her special day had finally come.  The preparation for this special daddy date has been a drawn out process.  I took her to a consignment sale with the hopes of finding a really special dress for her to wear (at a reasonable price)!  I was looking for something a little fancier, like a flower girl dress...Isabel had something else entirely, in mind!  From within the depths of the racks of hangers and clothing, she pulls out this pink, rose-patterned dress that could have come straight from my 1980s closet.  Rob calls it a little "Little-House-on-the-Prairie-ish".... It has poofy sleeves and a white lacey collar.  And it was about three dollars and fifty cents.  In my head I thought "you'd have to pay me $3.50 to buy this dress", but instead I said, "Let's hold that one and keep looking".  Surely I could convince her that a more modern, glittery bridesmaid dress would be more fitting.  After turning down several more of my selections I knew I had lost the battle when Isabel said, "Mom, this is just the dress that I've been searching for."  Sold.  "Okay, Isabel, if that is the dress that you want to buy, then I think it will look just lovely on you, and we can get it."

She looked just beautiful in it.  And it did bring me to tears to see how thrilled she was to be going out in such a special dress with her Daddy.  It also brought me to tears to think that we had a daughter who never got to go to a Daddy-Daughter dance.  She is probably dancing in heaven.

So there are still those moments that the memory of Mary Grace slips into our life here and there. 

The last two Sundays at Mass, they have played songs which were sung at  Mary Grace's funeral.  Right after communion, both weeks, I have practically burst into tears trying to sing along.  I give up and am thankful that Rob is out of the sanctuary tending to Ian, so he doesn't have to see what I mess I am. 

Time has helped to heal my wounds.
Ian has helped to heal my wounds.
God has given me both Time and Ian to help heal the loss of Mary Grace.
And Faith helped lead me around the bend to where I could not see.

Read this.

I haven't posted in awhile and I hope to soon.  Lots going on here in NC.  And so much going on in the news this weekend that I can't say it any better than this blogger did.... so please go read her post!  And even if you are not Catholic, you should be upset by this, because your liberties may be next in line.