Time for an update! How 'bout a belly shot?

5 Weeks

11 Weeks

So I'm getting a little "thicker" but not really a "bump" yet.  I cannot fit into any of my old pants or shorts though....so I'm wearing as many elastic-waist skirts as I can.  (I only have one pair of maternity shorts...do not want to go and spend the money on more since we should be getting into cooler weather soon, right?)  That's what I'm praying for...it has been blazing here in NC.  

I had my progesterone levels drawn today and based on what they are, I think we will be stopping the PIO shots after my next 2 doses.  That was the impression I had gotten from Dr. C (NaPro).  So I am awaiting the results...and a little nervous about stopping them, I have to admit.  My level at 8weeks 3days was 41.5.

I am having a bit of a problem that I had during weeks 13ish-16ish with Mary Grace's pregnancy....and that is my stubbornly tilted uterus (retroverted) refuses to right itself and starts pressing on my areas around my bladder causing me to be unable to relieve myself....uh yeah, it's as frightening as it sounds especially when you have a full bladder.   During Mary Grace's pregnancy I had to resort to self-cathing (umm....just as bad as it sounds!)....but when I started having that feeling this pregnancy I scoured the internet looking for an alternative.  Luckily there is a stretch/exercise/position that I am able to do that temporarily rights my uterus so that I can urinate....lovely, huh?  I am so thankful we have not had to go the other route, and praying that my uterus will find it's rightful, righted home soon.  This is really only happening at night....so my sleep position must be contributing to the uterus flopping back the wrong way??  Just guessing here...

Nausea has been less, but still here and there....resulting in lots of food aversions.  Oh and I didn't even know it could be possible to have these this early, but I swear I've already been having some Braxton Hicks contractions...about 1 or 2 a day for the last 3 days.  Really surprised me and hopefully it is not something to be concerned about even though it seems super early for those.

My next appointment is on Monday.  We are having another look at the cyst and I guess this will decide whether we schedule surgery or whether there is no need at this time.  And immediately after that is our NT scan;  yay!  Another peek at Baby H! 

I have been so bad about following blogs lately, and obviously about updating my own!  These last three weeks have also started the beginning of homeschooling Isabel, so between the nausea and schooling and oh the rest of everyday life, I've just fallen behind!  ;)

I Saw Baby Move!!!

This morning (9 weeks 5 days) I had my first official prenatal appointment at my regular OBGYN office. 

Doctor did an abdominal ultrasound for the first time this pregnancy and we saw baby lying really still (got a little nervous for a moment) in my womb with the heartbeat flickering away (can breathe again, baby is alive!).  Doctor asked if I saw the heartbeat movement and when I replied, "Yes", I guess the movement of my speaking startled baby and it threw out it's arms and legs and started wiggling all around!!! 

It was just AMAZING!!!!!!!  There's something about each passing appointment and ultrasound that makes your pregnancy more real each time.  From seeing a spot on the screen which is your baby, to seeing the flicker of the heartbeat, to seeing movement!  Ahhhh...it just melted my heart today with love and relief and joy to see that little baby dance around. 

God has been so good to give me these weeks so far with Baby Holmes and for all these little blessings of extra ultrasounds and special care to make sure baby is doing well!  I just feel so blessed today!!!   What a wonderful feeling!

Amazing too is the fact that I haven't gained any weight since my OB visit at about 6 1/2 weeks....not sure how that can be possible since my pants no longer button!   Since I go back to the specialist about my ovary on September 20th, my regular OB doesn't want to see me for another 6 weeks, so October 15th.  I'll be almost 16 weeks then....I can't believe it! 

And something I don't say nearly enough is Thank You for all the prayers for this pregnancy!  I feel so blessed every day to know that people are praying for our family and for this little baby to make it!

So what happened on our Marriage Encounter weekend?

So I signed DH and I up for an ME weekend as our anniversary gift to ourselves back in July.  All of this was done electronically, and I even got a receipt!  Well 3 days before the weekend was supposed to start I had not been contacted by anyone and was starting to wonder!  So I contacted the local ME people and they did not have us on the list!!!  I emailed them my "receipt" and they were as shocked as I was.  Luckily another couple had just canceled and we were moved to the top of the 9 couple waiting list.  So we were still "in".

So we got to the weekend and I have to say that alot of it sounded very familiar, because DH and I are involved with Catholic Engaged Encounter and this had alot of similarities.  I was a little unsure of how much we would "learn" on the weekend.  But we both kept an open mind and really started to enjoy ourselves!

And then the miracles started happening....okay maybe "miracle" is too strong of a word.  But we had some really amazing things happen that God most definitely had a hand in!

First, at dinner we met this lovely couple and started discussing my pregnancy and how it was a little difficult because we felt very fearful of what might happen having already lost 4 babies.  She understood as she had experienced infertility herself...and then she told me that she had gone through several surgeries with Dr. Hilgers from Omaha.  I ABOUT choked on my food!  WHAT?!?!  You have worked with Dr. H???  (So I've read lots of people's stories about using NaPro and working with Dr. H but I've never met anyone in real life yet, and to find her at my ME weekend??)  And sure enough, she is one of his first research patients....in fact, she's one of the women from:  In Their Own Words:  Women Healed !!!!!!!!!   I don't think I really knew what to say.  I was just awestruck that God would have put us together...first at a retreat that we almost missed attending due to technical glitches, and second that out of 35 couples, He put us together at dinner (we had assigned seating at every meal, but did not get to sit with every couple). 

So the second part is that Rob and I were able to talk about our fears about this pregnancy, and to release some of the pain we have held onto since losing Mary Grace and the other babies.  I guess there were some parts of our grief that we held separately; we had never shared with each other.  And this weekend allowed for a huge release of those feelings, and an ability to better understand where the other stood as far as how we were approaching this new pregnancy emotionally.  I don't know how to better explain it, but it was HUGE for us.

Third, we asked the priest for a special blessing over this pregnancy.  He told us to meet him in his hotel room after one of the sessions, and we came in and sat down and gave him some background information...our fertility history if you will.  Then he completely surprised me with the following 3 questions:
1.  Do you blame yourself for these losses?
2.  Do you feel like you've let your husband down?
3.  Do you feel like he'd have been better off marrying someone else?
I knew the answers to these questions immediately, but had never spoken them out loud or talked them out with Robert.  My answers were yes, yes and no...in that order. 

He asked Rob some questions and then asked if he could pray over us.  He put one hand on both mine and Rob's head and began to pray back and forth between english and speaking in tongues.  This went on for several minutes and Rob later told me that he experienced a deep feeling of instant peace.  And after he was done praying he said he had a vision of Rob and I very old sitting around a breakfast table with many grandchildren all around. 

It was really beautiful.  And I think it was just what we needed to be able to move forward through this pregnancy in hope, rather than just moving forward in fear.  So that was our weekend!  God really put it all together for us, don't you think? ;)  I would definitely recommend an ME weekend to anyone who already has a good marriage and is looking to make it better.  They have them for different denominations as well, so it is definitely an option for many people!   Check out Worldwide Marriage Encounter for more information.

3rd ultrasound update: 8 1/2 weeks

So today I had my 3rd ultrasound with the maternal fetal medicine specialist.  This time as the sonographer was doing the ultrasound, Dr. G came in during the ultrasound to take a closer look. 

Let's start with the good news!  Baby Holmes is growing just perfectly in my womb and looks great!!!  I was so thankful to again have a live baby with the heartbeat ticking away at 178bpm (high, don't you think??).  I asked Dr. G about the "low fluid around the baby" that he had commented on at the last visit and he miscommunicated with me....there had never been low amniotic fluid....he had been talking about fluid elsewhere.  So that is also a huge relief, because last night I googl.ed "low amniotoic fluid in first trimester" and it was NOT good news....thus I was completely fearful of what the ultrasound findings regarding Baby Holmes would be today.  Needless worrying!  Thank you God that this little baby is growing just right!!!  Our daily prayers are being answered!!!

So Dr. G and the sonographer are looking out at my left ovary again and really spent alot of time analyzing what was going on.  In the end, it looks like I have a 5cm "cyst" or "tumor" on my left ovary.  Dr. G said that normally when they find a mass 5-6cm, they remove it and biopsy it.  However, since I am in my first trimester, there is a higher risk of miscarriage when surgery is done at this time.  I told Dr. G that I was not going to take ANY risks with this baby.  So he has decided that we will give it another 3-4 weeks and do another ultrasound then and decide what to do.  At that point, if the mass/cyst has grown, then he will recommend that it should be removed.  Or if it is the same or diminished, they might just watch it throughout my pregnancy and wait until I have delivered to remove it. 

This news was a little surprising. I guess I was most shocked by the size!  I didn't realize it was that size.  But I am still really not that concerned about it.  It was only when I was checking out after the appointment that the thought crossed my mind, "Grandma S. died of ovarian cancer".  But I'm just not "going there" in my head.  What I'm worried about is making sure that Baby Holmes is doing well, and today I got the proof from that ultrasound that he or she is doing just fine!  Praise God!

My next (regular prenatal) appointment is next Friday, September 3rd; so another sweet look at our baby to look forward to!! :)

And I promise to update on our marriage encounter weekend!  God was sooooo lining that weekend up for us!  It's too cool not to share!

Down and out!

That's how I've been feeling this week.  Absolutely down and out from morning sickness.  Except my morning sickness is all-day-long sickness.  Luckily I have not been throwing up much...but the non-stop extreme queasy feeling has just been awful. 

So Friday I finally conceded and called my OB for an anti-nausea prescription.  Got it within 2 hours and took 1/2 a pill (directions say 1/2 to 1 pill every six hours!)....well the half pill knocked me out within 45 minutes.  Luckily I took it right before naptime; so made it upstairs and napped with Isabel...but when I woke up it was like a bad hangover.  So I'm trying 1/4 of a pill next....I'll report back when I wake up ;)

Nausea aside........our MFM (maternal fetal medicine) ultrasound appointment last Monday went well.  We got to see baby again, alive and well with an even stronger heartbeat!  This time I brought Isabel and Rob with me, so it made it a little more real for our entire family to witness it together.  Doc still noticed *something* over near my left ovary/tube and has now put me on pelvic rest for the next 2 weeks.  No intercourse, no heavy lifting, no gym (ha...wasn't going to the gym anyway)!  It has me just a little more concerned this time since he put me on pelvic rest, but I'm still not very worried about it.  Have to go back on 8/27 to take another peek.  And quite honestly, the more ultrasounds that I can get to make sure the little one is still alive in my womb, the better!

Other things we've been dealing with are the sweet, innocent prayers of dear daughter, Isabel.  "Dear God, please let the baby in mommy's tummy grow big and strong and be born alive and come home to live with us."  The first time she prayed for the baby to live, I almost lost it.  A 4 year old shouldn't have to pray for that.  She shouldn't have to know at such a tender age that some babies (in our case, most babies) don't make it to be born alive into the world. 

However, it's the prayer that our whole family has been praying since we found out we were pregnant.  Please God, let your creation, this precious little baby, LIVE!  At this point, I fear my anger toward God if He decides to take this baby too.  Not because I would not be able to handle it on my own...but because of the pain it would cause me if Isabel lost another sibling.  How would she react to another loss, older as she is this time?  What if she loses faith in God because He keeps taking something so precious to our family time and time again?  I don't dwell on this.  I try not to even go there.  But in private I beg God not to take this baby for Isabel's sake.  

In other news our marriage encounter weekend was just what we needed, and I can't wait to share some AMAZING ways in which God was working while we were there!  But I'll save that for another post! 

For the life of every living thing is in his hand, and the breath of every human being.  Job 12:10

I've Been Praying For................

My Heart Exults during the summer prayer buddies session!  I have been so honored to pray for her!!!  Her blog has truly blessed my heart!

I had not known of her blog before getting matched as her prayer buddy, so as soon as I got my assignment, I raced over and read through her entire blog!  And I was just so overwhelmed by the match!

Our wedding anniversaries are just a week apart (not the year, but the day).

We have the same cat....okay well I thought they were sort of similar looking ;)

            ( HER CAT )                                                                

  ( MY CAT )

We both hate Las Vegas!....okay well I haven't really ever been there and hate is a strong word, but I don't think that I would enjoy it.  I've just never had an interest in going.

She went to see Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck on tour...DH and I watch Glenn Beck religiously....it's our daily DVR date every night.

I was just so excited to begin praying for her!  On every new post I would want to comment, but I couldn't even add myself as a follower because I thought she would suspect I was her prayer buddy!  So I've been secretly reading, leaving comments in my head (yeah, I know that was no help), and secretly storming heaven for you, prayer buddy!! 

She and her husband are just the cutest couple!  And she got to take an amazing pilgrimage to the Holy Land at the very beginning of the summer prayer buddy session!   If you have not been there, please head on over and check out her blog!

Results of Prayer.....

So my prayer buddy must have been seriously storming heaven for me this last month.

Because........

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SHE PRAYED ME PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July 25th we got back home from our Florida vacation and AF was due that day.  Well as soon as I got home I ran upstairs and took an IC (internet cheapie test) and it came back positive under a minute!  I took another one immediately because I thought the first one must be a joke.  And positive again!  No squinting needed!!

Start shaking....

Tears well up.....

Take the tests downstairs and show Rob.

He is in disbelief too.  I send him out for the real deal tests:  FRERs  (First Response Early Response).  That comes back with an instantly decent line! 

Start my progression pics and take tests every morning until I am out of peesticks.  It's actually progressing!!! Not a chemical pregnancy!  One bad thing that could happen that I can scratch off my list!!!  Hooray!

Call my NaPro doc and speak with a nurse.  Doc calls me back and has no idea who I am....have to explain I am her NaPro patient 3 hours away and she immediately calls in Progesterone in Oil to a local compounding pharmacy.  Have my blood drawn to check progesterone levels only (no betas) before starting the PIO shots.
2ml of PIO 2x/week is what I'm getting for now.

Get this:  Conception date was JULY11th!!!  Yes, our wedding anniversary AND Mary Grace's due date!  I think our little girl in heaven was doing some praying too, what do you think?  And I also asked St. Benedict to intercede for us too on July 11th!!!  Amazing!!  Thanks St. B!!

That puts my due date around April 3-5, 2011!!!  Another April baby like Isabel, God-willing!

How am I feeling??  Initially cautious until I saw my test lines really progressing.  But now I am ecstatic!!!  I walked into the guest bedroom and was mentally rearranging furniture at 4 weeks 4 days!!

Do I still wonder and worry at every slight twinge?  Yes.  But I am trying to turn all of that over to God.  I praise Him daily for the miracle of this new little life growing inside me again....for as long as He allows me to have this baby, I am thankful. 

And I am so very thankful to you, prayer buddy!  I absolutely think your prayers for me were what tipped God's hand to bless me!!!!  Thank you from the bottom of my heart!  And to everyone of you who has lifted me up to the throne of heaven for another baby, THANK YOU!!! 

Today I had an early ultrasound to confirm that the baby is in the right spot, and sure enough there it was snuggled right into my womb where it should be, and we even saw a heartbeat!!

No pregnancy of mine (except the first) has been without drama however.  On Friday I had a gush of bright red blood, some light spotting and then nothing since.  OB saw my subchorionic hemmorhage today on ultrasound which should not pose any problems...it was just scary.   Then my OB checks my right and left sides around my ovaries and tubes and sees *something* on my left side.  He prints me out a picture and gets me in to a specialty clinic for a high resolution ultrasound (yes, all this morning) and the doc there isn't sure what it is either.  He thinks maybe a ruptured cyst has left some old blood?  I have to go back in on Monday for a repeat scan at the specialty clinic to make sure the *something* hasn't developed a heartbeat.

They joked that it probably is in fact a heterotopic pregnancy (one in the womb, one outside the womb) because I have had so many against-the-odds bad things happen in pregnancy.  But I feel very confident that it will turn out to be just fine. 

This is baby #6 and I am so in love with it already!!! And soooooo happy that my husband allowed me to share the news this early!!!