For some reason I could not bring myself to ask the doctors about taking the baby's body home, even though I was given multiple opportunities. A doctor would come in to brief me on my condition and always asked, "Do you have any questions about anything?". I guess I thought it was such a bizarre request- wanting to take home a tiny 3-4 inch baby. I could barely even fathom discussing it with my own husband for fear he would think me super weird.
But while I was in the hospital I happened to read this blog post at All You Who Hope. It had been posted over 2 weeks before this time, but God led me to read it in His time and in this place. And then I understood that taking my baby's remains was exactly what I needed to do. So I gingerly approached Rob and he was in complete agreement (I honestly don't know why I had been so hesitant to approach him before)- and then I got up the nerve to ask a doctor if this would be possible. They assured me it could be done and that they would work through the paperwork and legalities to make it happen. Along the way however, it became apparent that there was a newer hospital policy that had been put into place that remains could not leave the hospital with a patient but must go through a funeral home. The doctors and nurses frankly told me they disagreed with this policy and they even tried to find some loophole, but in the end, there was none and the rules were the rules.
So we began to look for a funeral home that would be able to pick up the remains from the hospital and bring them to the funeral home and then release the remains to us. The "big" funeral homes were not able to meet this request due to more red tape.
By the time we learned this, I had been released from the hospital after leaving Francis Marie's body in the care of my nurse who assumed personal responsibility for it. This nurse's name was Kim and I am so grateful for her compassion and willingness to look after the body to make sure it got to where it needed to go.
At this point we called our pastor who was very gracious to make a call for us and found a funeral home that would help us.
This was the third gift. After getting the doctors to agree to an induction, after delivering at the critical moment before a D&C would have taken place, and then being able to bring the remains of the baby home- these are all gifts the Lord has given us.
Doors that He opened at just the right moment so that it was neither too soon, nor too late for the gift to be given, but the perfect moment for the gift to be received.
Isabel made a Valentine to be buried with Francis Marie. It is both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Little Baby up in Heven
Pray for our family since you had to die to save mom
So plese pray for our family
And plese tell Lord Jesus Christe to send blessings to help our family
not to be sad
Happy Valintines Day
So sweet, so sad, yet such a gift.