On Tuesday I went for my "39 week checkup", except according to my OBGYN, I was 38 weeks and 6 days, and she would not do a membrane sweep since I was not 39 weeks. I was a little perturbed....she laughed that I "probably wanted to smack her right now" and she couldn't have been more right!!! So I guess God really didn't want me to have it done...because if I haven't gone into labor by my next appointment, what's another few days??
I argued that according to my dates, I was really 39+2 weeks, but she wouldn't hear it. So we did a cervical check and the normal heartrate, blood pressure, weight check, etc.
If she hadn't told me that I had made progress....(I am now 1.5cm, 70% effaced and baby has moved down a tad to -2 station)...then I would have lost it. Despite the happy news that I am progressing down below, I was an emotional mess on Wednesday...crying over pretty much everything.
It seems pretty pathetic really. I have mood swings that take me from "why can't I just have go into labor now? I'm going to be pregnant for-ev-er!!!!!!" to "Hey, it's not like I can be pregnant for more than another week and a half! We are sooooo close!" And I can't help it....it's just one moment I'm feeling optimistic and dare I say patient, and then the next I'm an impatient little mess of a child.
My opinion on this is that first of all, most women around these last few weeks have a natural inclination to want to "be done" and meet their baby. You're tired, achy, emotional and want the baby out. It's hard to wait.
For those who have lost multiple pregnancies, I wonder if this time is even more difficult. Finally, I am really, possibly on the verge of meeting a baby who we have waited for... for well, about 3 1/2 years! We started losing babies when Isabel was 1 1/2 and now she is just about to turn 5! It's mind-blowing. And the last three weeks have been wrought with a renewed fear of "I'm so close....what if something goes wrong in these last few weeks?" "What if something goes wrong, and we could have taken him out early...like at 37 or 38 or 39 weeks?" I've been having to recommit myself to handing this over to God....in many small steps throughout each day. But to say that it's not been extra-emotional would be a lie.
Everything else from the appointment was great...except my weight gain!! *blush* I'm up to 53lbs gained so far! Oh boy....and you can see it ;)
Still, why deny it??? It's just the way I grow babies I guess ;)