Thursday, September 15, 2011

I'm back and thankful. last post was August 5th, and here we are at September 15th!  Bad blogger! 

I've looked at this website many times over the last month and have almost started writing a post, then stopped. 

I've got what I can call nothing other than a spiritual war going on inside and around me.  Maybe someone out there can relate, but I've just noticed, and have been a part of Satan really trying to attack, tear down and destroy whatever he can of "the family unit"....I've experienced it in my own family, and I've seen it around me. 

And I've had a hard time with it.  I haven't known how to write about it.  I've had lots of anger over it.  I've been struggling with FORGIVENESS, RELEASING situations to God, CHOOSING to LOVE,....and frankly I feel like I've been thrown into a world that I did not know could exist.  A world that I would have never believed God would ever have brought my way, and a world around which the "potholes" so-to-speak, are difficult to navigate.

This sounds really depressing, and it is!  But there are things that I am learning too....

The most amazing, is that for the whole time that Rob and I struggled with losing babies and with trying to get pregnant again, I wondered why all of this was God's plan.  How could it be that He didn't want me to have any of those babies.....the answer many people gave:  "All in God's time", "God's timing is perfect", "Wait on the Lord".  And I believed all of those statements....I just didn't understand. 

But in the situation that I am experiencing now, God is letting me in on His plan...just a little bit. 
While I can't speak on the situation here on this blog, I can say, that God gave me Ian, for this time.  At Adoration one day, that thought came to me.  God wanted me to understand this.

Not only is he a little miracle because we waited so long, and waited through such heartache for him, but he is a miracle who's purpose is to bring a special joy and love, and a reminder of God's EVER-PRESENT LOVE to me and my family during this time in our life. 

This baby is so easy to smile.... he will laugh practically on command....  he is oh-so ticklish!! 
And those baby giggles and smiles are holding me together. 
Oh God is so good.  He knew what I would need before I even knew that I would need it.
He saw a situation from afar, and refined me through fire, and molds and remolds me as I continue my journey. 

God, my husband, and my children.   He knew what I would need! 
And I am so very thankful I have all of them in my life.


Karen said...

So glad you're back I missed you!

I can totally relate to this point. So often I look at sweet Mary-Grace and thank God because I've come to realize that she is here right now because God knew I needed her now. All part of his perfect plan. I don't think I would have made it through the last year had it not been for her. Even when she was in the womb she helped me through so much grief.

Prayers for you and for your family through this time.

Hebrews 11:1 said...

Good to hear from you! I'll pray for relief from your spiritual war.

Rebecca said...

Glad you are in back, but not that you are struggling. You will be in my prayers.

Second Chances said...

I, too, can relate. Our first son was born just as my mother in law was diagnosed with cancer, and brought her such joy at a painful time. And having Dominic here just as my father in law passed away has been an amazing gift. I'm so glad you have Ian to lift you up during this difficult time. Praying for you :)

Lauren @ Magnify the Lord with Me said...

Glad to hear an update, but sorry to hear you've been under such an attack! Grateful to hear what a precious miracle baby you have!!!