Friday, October 29, 2010

Anatomy Scan Update!

Praise Jesus!!!  This baby is as healthy as can be!  All the measurements and organs looked great and right on track!  Baby weighs 7 ounces at 17 weeks 5 days.


it's a BOY!!!

Our ultrasound tech was so sweet....she had also had an anatomy scan which did not go well in a previous pregnancy, so she totally understood our nervousness AND she told me as she was looking at each part if it was appearing normal!  I couldn't have asked for a more understanding and kind sonographer!  Thank you God!  To top it all off, she is also pregnant with a boy and due in April!!

We are just on cloud nine and so thankful that God has allowed us to be pregnant with a healthy little boy!  I feel like now I might actually be able to sit back and really enjoy the rest of this pregnancy; allow myself to revel in the magic and wonder of it all instead of living with fear and hesitations that it might not work out. 

Baby boy was not shy about showing his parts multiple times!  I will be getting pictures from the scan up soon!  DH and I are going out for a dinner date/celebration to The Melting Pot tonight and finally we will get to start discussing some names!!

*Sigh*  What a relief!  I am just so thankful for all of your prayers!  I know that they helped :)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Stressing this week...

So I've been a wreck since Friday the 22nd.  I haven't meant to be, but after having an emotional meltdown in front of my parents, my mom embraced me in a hug and asked, "Are you worried about the big ultrasound next Friday?"

It wasn't until it was vocalized that I was able to acknowledge why I've been a grumpy, sobbing, snappy mess for the last several days.  I am completely anxious over our upcoming anatomy scan.   Usually I only break down a few days before a regular ultrasound, but considering this is "the big one" I should have known that this would be a rough week.

The anatomy ultrasound is the one in which we found out that things were terribly wrong with Mary Grace.  It was literally the ultrasound that changed our lives forever.  We went in with joy and excitement about simply finding out our baby's sex.  I had not a care in the world, and had not once considered that something could be wrong with her.  We left that appointment with the knowledge that our baby would probably not live.  So I guess that it is reasonable for me to be worried, anxious and nervous that this big ultrasound on Friday will not go well for our newest little addition currently growing in my womb.  I do have a bit of excitement over hopefully finding out the gender, but that is definitely overwhelmed by the fear that something will not be right.

I feel silly too, not having expected this sort of reaction from myself.  Afterall, for the last 2 months I've been rehearsing the first thing I will say to the ultrasound tech at this anatomy scan:  "I need you to tell us as soon as you see that something is wrong."  Yeah, not a very optimistic outlook, I know!  It's not that I'm truly expecting something to be wrong exactly...I think it's more of a way for me to prepare myself in case something isn't right. 

So after the meltdown in front of my parents (umm....very unusual for me, by the way) on Saturday, and chewing on this realization that I'm on pins and needles over this ultrasound, we went to Mass on Sunday.  The homily was on being open to the truth in your own life...and I had to accept that I'm not holding it together like I think that I am!  When we stood up to say the Creed, I noticed on the pew directly in front of me, a piece of paper with a saint intently looking down at a crucifix he was gently holding..."Wow", I thought, "that looks a whole lot like St. Gerard...wouldn't that be something if a St. Gerard (the patron saint of expecting mothers!!) card was sitting right in front of me?  It would be like a sign or something."

I stared closer and could see "Majella" printed on the end of the card....St. Gerard Majella....that would be him.  Convinced that this was a sign for me, I thought to myself, "okay, this lady in front of me is literally sitting with her purse on this card, so it has to be hers.  If she doesn't take it after Mass, it must really be meant for me."

Well, guess who left the card sitting directly in front of me???

I picked it up and took it home.

From the card: "Saint Gerard's dominant virtue - trust in God's providence" and "His favorite expression, 'God will provide'".

"Over two hundred years ago, the saint once remarked: 'If anyone unable to bear the sufferings which God has sent him, calls on me for help...or if I hear of such a one, I will pray that God give him the grace of conformity with His holy will.'"

It may be guaranteed to be a rough week for me emotionally, but as long as I keep my eyes on Jesus, like St. Gerard in the picture, and can place my trust in God's providence....He will provide for me no matter what happens at Friday's ultrasound.

And just to show you that my belly is in fact growing, here is a belly pic from this Sunday at 17 weeks.  Thanks for any prayers you could send my way this week!  I will update again on Friday!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

16 weeks

Each week keeps passing by and I can hardly believe that I'm still pregnant and things are going so well.

The movement that I "thought" was the baby, most definitely was!  And has been increasing in frequency and strength.  Yay!  Grow baby, grow!

Also, I was so blessed by my friend Amber, who offered to let me borrow her fetal heart doppler!  On those days where I've been too busy to notice any movement, I use it to reassure myself that he or she is still alive in there!  It is just wonderful.

I had a regular OB appointment Friday, the 15th and everything went well.  Although my doctor is of course strongly urging me to get the flu shot.  Now normally I have no problem with this except for all the stories I've read about women losing their pregnancies last year after receiving the H1N1 shot.  So this year, with it being a combined flu shot I have some reservations about getting it.  My OB was very persistent..."pregnant women are the highest risk category", "there is no statistical evidence to link the H1N1 vaccine to miscarriages or autism", "we had women in the hospital from this, women died!", "1 in 3 women miscarry anyway"....okay got it.  But I don't want to be one of the ones to miscarry!  So the dilemma is:  am I better protecting my baby by not getting the flu shot or by getting it??  Would LOVE to hear your comments on this...especially if you are pregnant- what did you do?

The rest of the appointment was fine..heard baby's heartbeat on doppler.  Doc is guessing it's a girl...just for the fun of guessing.  My anatomy ultrasound is scheduled for October 29th (JUST 2 WEEKS away!!!), so I can't wait to see if this baby is healthy and of course (hopefully) find out the gender!  I've gained 6 pounds in 6 weeks (which quite frankly I'm happy about seeing as it is the ONLY weight I've gained this far which had been making me nervous). 

It's strange to think that a year ago on October 15th, Rob and I attended an "October 15th" Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day service in Raleigh, as we remembered and mourned the loss of Mary Grace and our other babies.  And a year later I was celebrating the new life thriving in me, and celebrated our family and life in general by attending the NC State Fair.

Last update is that my last progesterone check was 44.2 at 14 weeks 2 days which is very good.  Dr. C has now bumped me down to just 100mg 2x/week instead of the 200mg 2x/week I was on.  

And yes, I'm overdue for a belly shot....I'll take one soon!  I promise!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Quick update!

Okay so I am 14 weeks 2 days today and just started my PIO shots back up.  I will be heading to the lab sometime this week to get my progesterone levels redrawn.  I feel more reassured (basically from everyone's comments) that everything should be okay even though I've been off PIO for about 2 1/2 weeks!  (Yikes!)

My nausea is all gone...thank you second trimester!  And thank you God for letting me get this far in my pregnancy.  Every day is just amazing to me that I am here, right in this spot in my life, pregnant....again.  What a blessing, and I literally say a big "thank you" to our Lord every day for this privilege.

Of course it's hard/impossible to know if things are going okay in there at this point.  And I've been wavering on whether to buy a fetal heart doppler (found used ones for as cheap as $50 on craigslist, but I'm still too frugal to pay that!)...but I kept thinking any time now I could possibly start to feel some movement since this is not my first baby.  And the last two days I feel almost totally sure that I have felt the baby move!  No kicks.. it feels more like a rolling or turning inside.  It seems so early, but I remember going to the OBGYN for an appointment while I was pregnant with Mary Grace at 12 weeks and the nurse asked if I had felt any movement yet, and I said, "seriously?" and she said it was possible!  So I guess it can really start this early!

Feeling some movement is enough to give me a bit of peace of mind.  My next OBGYN appointment is on the 15th and it really is just a week and a half away now.  October is so busy for us...there is something going on every weekend, and so far we've been really busy during the weekdays as well, so I'm hoping the time will fly by to the 15th!

Oh and my crazy not-being-to-empty-my-bladder problem due to my stubborn uterus has finally resolved itself...haven't had any trouble in over a week!!  Which is a huge praise!  I guess it makes sense that my uterus has finally found it's correct position as my belly is starting to poke out a little bit yay! :)  I'll take another belly shot hopefully this Sunday at 15 weeks.

This has turned into a longer update than I intended! :)  But I did take the plunge and check out a "new baby on the way" book from the library for know...trying to work her into the reality that we hope plays out come April.  We got the Berenstain Bears and the New Baby...and to my surprise it is her favorite library book of the week.   She has asked to read it every day during lunch since we've had it!