Checkbook register.

Yesterday I was reconciling our bank statements from this past year.  Yes, I do mean from all of 2009.  I normally don't reconcile our statement, just balance the checkbook.  But somehow a missed transaction here and a double transaction there catches up to you when you don't reconcile it.  So I was all the way back to February 2009.  And that's when everything came back.

I started remembering everything simply from the financial transactions I had made.

2/3/09:  Isabel Preschool Registration Fee.  I had filled out on the form that she had a sibling on the way.  I had no idea that the very next day I would find out something was horribly wrong and that two days from now I would know that my baby was going to be a girl and we would choose her name.

2/13/09:  Chiropractor.  This was the day I completely broke down and lost it at the chiropractor's office when he asked me if I had any new "stress" in my life.  Yes, I just found out that my baby is not going to live.  Maybe that's why my shoulder is so sore.

2/14/09:  Ignited By Truth Conference ck#1602. Mom and I attended a Catholic conference and met Imaculee Ilibagiza there.  She put her hand to my belly when I told her about Mary Grace and told me to pray the rosary of the Seven Sorrows. 

2/18/09:  OBGYN visit.  This was the last OB visit where we heard Mary Grace's heart beating.

2/24/09:  Schiele Museum.  We had gone to visit our friends in Gastonia and took our kids to the museum there.  This was just two days before Mary Grace would take her last breath.

2/27/09:  Rite Aid Purchase.  I sent Rob to the nearest store to buy me a hairdryer so I could dry my hair after showering at the hospital.  I didn't think to bring one from home.

2/28/09:  Target Pharmacy.  Rob picked up my prescription for pain medicine after we were released from the hospital.  I had delivered Mary Grace early that morning.

2/28/09:  Pei Wei.  We picked up Pei Wei chinese take-out on our way home from the hospital.  Pei Wei Dan Dan Noodles are my favorite comfort food. 

3/1/09:  Transfer from Savings (funeral home).  I had to move money around our account to pay for Mary Grace's preparation and burial.

3/1/09:  Mitchell Funeral Home ck#1603.  Wrote the check out for everything pertaining to her burial.

3/1/09:  Belk (funeral dress-Angela).  Had to go find something black to wear to my daughter's funeral.  I had nothing appropriate and I wanted to look nice for her.

3/2/09:  Transfer from Savings (cemetary).  Had to move money around again to be able to write out the check for Mary Grace's grave plot and marker.

3/2/09:  Raleigh Memorial Park ck#1604.  Paid for her grave plot and marker.

3/4/09:  Wolf Camera.  Paid for the picture of her little feet that I had enlarged for her funeral which would be two days later.

Amazing how flipping through an old checkbook could bring back all of the memories.  I remember each of those events so vividly now that I've seen the dates and transaction description on paper.

It's almost been a year.

And a checkbook brought it all to my present.