Friday, September 18, 2009

Listening for God.

When I was in kindergarten, the teacher would always tell us, "If you're not looking, you're not...?" And then the class would answer with a resounding, "Listening!"

If you're not looking, you're not listening.

Remember that? That phrase has definitely stuck with me since I was five, although I'm not always the best at applying it. But it made me think about a person's relationship with God. It has at least been the case in my life, that when I am looking at God, when I am focused on Him in my daily life (talking to Him throughout my day, making an effort to live His teachings, offering my actions to Him throughout the day), I am more open to hearing the Lord when He wants to say something to me.

So last week during some personal prayer time, I tried to de-clutter my mind and let God speak to me.

What do you want to say to me, Lord? I want to be still and listen to what You have to say.

I asked Him to give me a word that I could focus on. And the word that came to my mind was


Peace. Okay. So I tried to think about that for the rest of my prayer time, and of course it led me to think about my life....the bigger events of my life were where my thoughts first traveled. My marriage, my daughter, my relationship with God, whether or not we would have more children, and of course, losing my babies.

And as I pondered these things I realized, I do have peace with what God has allowed to happen in my life. I do have peace that I have three babies in heaven. I have peace that God has blessed me with an adorable and irresistibly lovable daughter here on earth. I have peace that our family is a family of 3 on earth and 3 in heaven.

And although we are still trying for a baby, I have found a new peace in my heart over the possibility that it may just be the three of us.

And that word kept popping into my head throughout the week...randomly. It's like the Holy Spirit was just sending me a little nudge every now and then, reminding me, "Peace".

So when Isabel got a fever the evening before her first FULL day of preschool, I didn't stress...I felt peace.

When I realized that because she would not be able to attend school, I would likewise miss my first bible study class, I heard in my head, "Peace".

And to round out the week, when our Engaged Encounter volunteers discerned Robert and I to be the next Local Coordinators for the diocese of Charlotte, (a prospect over which I had previously been trembling in my boots felt reluctant) I had peace.

It's been such a freeing feeling to relax in the peace that the Lord brings. And He invites all of us to turn our worries, stresses, problems, grief and all burdens and shortcomings over to Him. He can do mighty things with you!

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power." Ephesians 6:10

I do feel stronger, having listened to and applied what the Lord was telling me this week. Have peace and cast your worries on Him!

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