Saturday, June 6, 2009

Life goes on without her.

Today was a rotten day.

It's been three months since we buried Mary Grace and I'm just getting reminders left and right that I don't have my baby and that life goes on without her.

People plan birthday parties and baby showers and anniversary dinners...and I am still aching from the loss of Mary Grace. I'm supposed to be well over it all by now according to most people.

But today the pain is very real that I don't have my baby and that life goes on without her.

I found out today that our neighbor is pregnant...due in August. Oh that's nice, we could have had babies a month apart...except that I don't have my baby and life still goes on without her.

I went to the dentist last week and my hygienist was 39 weeks pregnant. Lovely. I should've been nearly that pregnant now...

I don't want to put on a happy face and go smile and chat at parties. I want to curl up in my bed and cry. Isn't that part of the grief cycle?

Sorry there are no cheery words today or inspirational thoughts.

Just a sad Mommy who misses her little girl. Life goes on without her whether I want it to or not...but I think it's at least my right to take a day here and there to grieve that fact.


Follow The Stepps said...

Hey Angela,
No words to say to make any of this better. Just know that I am lifting you up in prayer tonight.

Anonymous said...

Aw, Angela I just want to give you BIG hug


Anonymous said...

I'm still so sorry that you have to go through this grief and I know you will still have bad days but please know that you, Rob & Isabel are still in my thought and prayers. God is your hope and I know that you are holding on to his every promise and he will deliver.


Hil323 said...

Honey, I love you so much. You have a right to your grief! NO ONE shoudl or could tell you when your grief should end. You have a right to have these days! Just don't forget that the Holy Spirit is surrounding you and that Jesus is hugging you through your friends and loved ones! I'm still praying for you you and your family and any future babies God may/will bless you with. Keep the faith sweet friend!
Love, Hil

Nicole Samona said...

You will never get over it and you should not be expected too - we just crossed Isabella's 1st birthday on June 20th, It gets easier but the pain and heartache will never go away!