I just have to document these events that took place because it is a reminder that we, our lives, things that happen which we don't understand....all of these are specks...pieces of a magnificent puzzle that the Lord is putting together....fitting together to make a clear picture, but of which we only sometimes get glimpses. We find two pieces of a thousand piece puzzle that match and we have a momentary rush of excitement and wonder that we were able to put 2 pieces together.
The same is often true of our lives and I had a small glimpse of this last week.
Rob was out of town Thursday night, the 16th. I was tired and went to bed with the phone beside me in case he called (sometimes he is out late with clients). At 10:15pm, the phone rang, but it was one of his co-workers (also a friend and a Godparent to one of our kids)....but my heart began to race as I woke up and tried to comprehend why he would be calling instead of Rob.
"Hello?"...."Hello!???".....I said....there was no reply. And then he hung up.
My mind started to panic.
I immediately dialed Rob and to my relief he answered and was okay.
Well, what happened was this: Rob and his co-workers were in the hotel lobby having a drink and Rob received a phone call from his sister. His co-worker thought he was talking to me, so he thought it would be funny to interrupt "our" call by calling me....unfortunately, he was wrong about who Rob was speaking with, called me, woke me up and then felt terrible for his mistake.
Because he felt so bad, he made me a cd with 5 songs on it. My "I'm sorry, Ang" cd....to make up for playing a joke at my expense.
I thought that was pretty nice and I didn't have any hard feelings. He's a jokester anyway.
The next morning, after Mass, we found out Nancy had died. I took the kids home from Mass and waited for Rob to get home from his travels. As soon as he got home I was ready to head back to church to a special day of Adoration which had been set up to pray for Nancy and her family. I was a little annoyed when I got into the car and Rob said, "I've got music already ready for you." As I drove away I thought, Why would he think I would want him to pick out music for me? A friend died today and I want to pick my own music....
How arrogant of me to have had those thoughts.
I relented of my mental battle and let the cd play as I drove to the church.
It was the "I'm Sorry, Ang" cd from his co-worker.
And each of those 5 songs touched my heart deeply. It was just what my soul needed to hear. I played it there, repeated it, and played it on the drive back home. These songs, while not necessarily written about death, spoke to me with their lyrics and their melodies and some haunting harmonies.
We listened to it all this week and on the drive to the funeral yesterday.
The "I'm Sorry, Ang" cd turned into the "Nancy's Gone" cd for me....those songs will forever remind me of this time in my life. Of saying goodbye to a friend.
As I started to think about the songs and this cd and how it came to be that after being woken up in the middle of the night as a prank, that I would get this music as an apology, and that unknowing to Rob's coworker that my friend was dying, he would pick these songs that were meant for me to be heard during this time..... it's just like God gave me 4 or 5 pieces of a 10,000 piece puzzle and I was able to make out one small image and see clearly something within all the mess of jumbled, turned over pieces.
I messaged him to tell him how the cd was meant for me during this time and to explain how his calling me that night set all this into motion...and he replied, "God is so awesome. This is the third time this week someone has sent me a note like this."
God is fitting the pieces together....everyone's pieces....all of the time.
We can't see the finished puzzle.
There are too many pieces.
We can't match them all.
We won't see it until we have reached our final home, and the entire puzzle is displayed for us by Our Father. But sometimes He reveals to us a section. A few pieces that fit together and we must know that while we are living and "working out the pieces" of our own lives, He already knows how each piece must fit together to it's completion.
Edited to add the songs on my cd:
Waiting on the River to Rise by Kingsley Flood
Just Visiting by Wookiefoot
Welcome Home, Son by Radical Face
Little Hands by Inland Sky
Morning Light by Annabelle's Curse
